Get this: my second oldest trained himself! I wasn't ready for it because I had newborn twins, but he decided to always tell me when he had to go. But you're not here to read about me bragging on my easy potty trainers. And, personally, I don't want everyone to hate me. So I'll tell you about one particularly memorable experience with my "easy" trainer. (You're probably going to say I deserved it.)
So there I was, on the couch, nursing two babies at the same time. All of a sudden my almost two-year-old exclaims he has to go potty. And when a potty trainee says that, it's now. I popped both babies off while running to the play pen. Of course the twins didn't like this, their angry screams told me that, but I had to leave them somewhere safe.
Immediately after, I started booking it towards the bathroom, where he had already started heading. About my second step into the sprint I stepped on an army guy. Not just any army guy, but one laying down and holding his super long gun thing straight up into the air. It instantly impaled me and I fell to the ground. Still needing to hurry to the bathroom to assist him before he had an accident, I dragged my lifeless, crippled body through the house, around a corner, towards the bathroom.
When I had almost made it to the bathroom he thought we were playing a game and decided to crawl with me, which made me laugh, and harder to pull myself. After I pulled myself to sit up on the stool to sit, I pulled his pants down and remembered he was in a diaper. That whole time I was rushing to beat the accident.
Now you don't hate me, do ya.
Fast forward two years. Now I'm trying to potty train the twins. Usually I do this earlier, but let's face it, the thought of potty training two at the same time is quite scary. So I've put it off. The problem is, I currently have three in diapers. That's not cheap, not to mention gross. I decided Monday was the day. The day after Christmas my husband would be home, and we have a week off homeschooling.
We started both twins in undies in the morning. I let them pick out their own cool pair, just like I had done with the other boys. I'm a pro, remember?
By 10 AM we had pee in undies a few times, and an apparent successful poop in the potty. It was successful, until he went to go excitedly tell his daddy in the den and pooped a nice trail in the kitchen on the way back. After I cleaned that up, one twin handed me another piece of poop that I had missed.
At 11 I had started texting my mom all the results from potty training:
By Tuesday, Declan hadn't used the potty successfully at all, so I decided it wasn't going to work with him, and it might be easier to just focus on Callen.
Callen was more successful the next day, but he still forgot to go on his own. He had to be reminded each time.
I went for it again on Wednesday, and the results were about the same. He went when I put him on the potty, but never on his own. It's Thursday now, and he's in a pull-up. He has not asked to go once. If it makes everyone feel better, I think I've given up for now. Maybe I'll just send them to college in diapers. I'm fine with that. By then they should be able to pay for them on their own, right?
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