The Hole in the Bed

   In case you didn't already know, boys can be destructive. My boys think it's cool to go underneath their fitted bed sheet and pretend to be snails. Yeah. When they couldn't get their mattress protector off, they didn't think twice about ripping a hole in it to get underneath. That's cooler anyways. They were so proud of their accomplishment, not realizing it was wrong. Understandable. Kinda.
   Did they get in trouble? Yes.
   Did I buy a new one? Eventually.
   Did they end up ripping through that one too? Yes, eventually. Sigh. Whatever.
  Well to my surprise one morning I woke up and there was foam all over the floor. Now they ripped the mattress open. Well of course they did. Wait, it gets better. There was only about an inch or two of the foam, and then there was a cardboard layer. They ended up ripping through that, too and now there's a giant hole in the middle of the mattress. Why not, right? I mean, they probably thought they were being adventurers so something, digging through a mine, or tunneling through the earth to China or something.
   Yes, they still got in trouble. It does make for a nice skylight when the sun shines through it. Now don't worry, we don't let them sleep up there with the hole in it. We have a spare queen bed in the baby's room that the big boys have been sharing until we can get a new mattress. This is a real mattress that there will be no ripping through. We made that clear from the beginning. They started using this mattress at the same time they stopped taking naps, so they fall right to sleep at night anyways. Hallelujah! <<You have to sing that.

   Well the hole in the bed has become really fun for the older four to shimmy through during play time. If they fall, it's onto another mattress. It's especially fun to watch the twins go through and giggle.
 
    This morning the twins both tried going through at the same time and got their heads stuck. (The hole is so big, they can't get strangled.) I was in the room across the hall, and could see what was happening. Yeah. There were two boys, standing on the bottom bunk, crying because both their heads couldn't fit through the hole at the same time. Yes, that's life with twins.
   Oh, and this happened right before the dog pooped in the hallway.

Potty Training the Twins

  I've successfully potty trained two boys. It was so easy! They were both (all but night-time) completely trained by two years old. How come people dread this?
  Get this: my second oldest trained himself! I wasn't ready for it because I had newborn twins, but he decided to always tell me when he had to go. But you're not here to read about me bragging on my easy potty trainers. And, personally, I don't want everyone to hate me. So I'll tell you about one particularly memorable experience with my "easy" trainer. (You're probably going to say I deserved it.)
    So there I was, on the couch, nursing two babies at the same time. All of a sudden my almost two-year-old exclaims he has to go potty. And when a potty trainee says that, it's now. I popped both babies off while running to the play pen. Of course the twins didn't like this, their angry screams told me that, but I had to leave them somewhere safe.
   Immediately after, I started booking it towards the bathroom, where he had already started heading. About my second step into the sprint I stepped on an army guy. Not just any army guy, but one laying down and holding his super long gun thing straight up into the air. It instantly impaled me and I fell to the ground. Still needing to hurry to the bathroom to assist him before he had an accident, I dragged my lifeless, crippled body through the house, around a corner, towards the bathroom.
   When I had almost made it to the bathroom he thought we were playing a game and decided to crawl with me, which made me laugh, and harder to pull myself. After I pulled myself to sit up on the stool to sit, I pulled his pants down and remembered he was in a diaper. That whole time I was rushing to beat the accident.

 
   Now you don't hate me, do ya.
Fast forward two years. Now I'm trying to potty train the twins. Usually I do this earlier, but let's face it, the thought of potty training two at the same time is quite scary. So I've put it off. The problem is, I currently have three in diapers. That's not cheap, not to mention gross. I decided Monday was the day. The day after Christmas my husband would be home, and we have a week off homeschooling.
   We started both twins in undies in the morning. I let them pick out their own cool pair, just like I had done with the other boys. I'm a pro, remember?
   By 10 AM we had pee in undies a few times, and an apparent successful poop in the potty. It was successful, until he went to go excitedly tell his daddy in the den and pooped a nice trail in the kitchen on the way back. After I cleaned that up, one twin handed me another piece of poop that I had missed.
    At 11 I had started texting my mom all the results from potty training:

By Tuesday, Declan hadn't used the potty successfully at all, so I decided it wasn't going to work with him, and it might be easier to just focus on Callen.

Callen was more successful the next day, but he still forgot to go on his own. He had to be reminded each time.

I went for it again on Wednesday, and the results were about the same. He went when I put him on the potty, but never on his own. It's Thursday now, and he's in a pull-up. He has not asked to go once. If it makes everyone feel better, I think I've given up for now. Maybe I'll just send them to college in diapers. I'm fine with that. By then they should be able to pay for them on their own, right?

Dog Days of.... Now.

    Remember me saying before that I wasn't crazy enough to have dogs or cats? yeeeaaaahhh well... Last night my husband brought home a 9-month old chocolate lab. He talked me into it. again.
    We had a chocolate lab when we first got married, and she was great. We've really started to miss her, and it was nice not having to sweep my dining room floors after each meal. He convinced me she was potty trained, and kinda starting to not be hyper.
     So, he and the two big boys brought her home last night while I was cooking dinner on the stove. The twins, while the were excited talking about the idea of a doggie, were scared. to. death. when she came in. Here I was cooking dinner, one twin hanging off one of my legs like a spider monkey, another twin squished between me and the oven, the baby crying in the playpen, and the big boys chasing the dog around. Oh boy.... After about an hour the twins warmed up to her.
    So this morning my husband let her out, as promised, and I was dressing the boys-just like I usually do at that time of day. All was going well. The oldest two were dressed, and I was gathering clothes for the baby while the twins ran around in newly cleaned diapers. My groove was totally messed up when I hear, "Mommy, she poo-ooped!"
   Yeah. You read that right. There was a poop trail down my carpeted hallway. Ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... (I'd make that longer, but I think you get the point.)
    So I put my diapered baby and twins in the crib while I send the dog outside and I use baby wipes and diapers to clean the bulk of it whilst trying not to barf. The smell didn't go away, so then I got out the shampooer, all the while the youngest three are crying and screaming to get out. I finished shampooing, dressed everybody, and now I'm nursing the baby as he drifts to sleep. When I put him down, I'll be diffusing some of my Young Living essential oils down in the smelly part of the house. Purification is my go-to oil for smelly occasions, such as this.

Meet Bailey

Just your average day

   Only in this house would I need to clip a bloody toenail, and put a Band-Aid on a child who just tripped over a buffalo horn.

    What do you mean, you ask? A horn that you would find on a buffalo, the animal. We acquired them from a taxidermist. My husband took some of the boys to drop off his latest "wall mounter." Somehow they came back with these. And yet I am not surprised.

    Anyways, this is the same child who somehow scratched his own face with his own fingernail bad enough to also need a Band-Aid. Oh, and before that, he needed one because he pinched his skin (between the thumb and index finger) in a shower curtain ring that I previously told him not to touch. Believe it or not, he is not my accident prone boy. He's just had a rough last 24 hours. Although, he has been the only one to need stitches...

And now it's only 9:38 AM and we need to start school. The baby is asleep so it's time to get stuff done.

Buffalo Horn

A Crazy Family

I have five kids. Not just five kids, but five. boys. I'll wait here while you sympathize......

Yes, my hands are full.
Yes, they are all mine.
Yes, I have a pair of twins.
No, just one set.
Yes, I am sure just one.
Yes, I must be busy.
Yes, my house gets loud. But bedtime is even more Ah-Maze-Ing!
Yes, I know what causes it.
No, we are not trying for a girl.

Anyways, My husband, Andrew, and I have been married over six years. We are crazy. I guess we'd have to be, right? Our oldest, Logan, is only 5. Whaaa?? Yes, Only 5. Our next boy is 3, almost 4. His name is Russell. Those two are more inseparable than my twins. The twins, Declan and Callen, are 2. Those guys are maniacs. They are fraternal twins, best buddies, and complete opposites. Jack is the baby. He's almost 4 months.

We currently have no dogs or cats because I'm not that crazy. We have about 10 fish. That's more my speed.

So yeah, we have five kids (boys) 5 and under. Welcome to our crazy home. What's one more, right?