Pooper Jack

       This is the face of a cute little boy who pooped all the way down to his feet and thought he was funny. That was until he realized the funny poop would land him in a bath in a gigantic bowl on the counter in the kitchen in the middle of his brothers' naptime. Doesn't he look thrilled?

This is the look of a cute baby who had to suffer through an impromptu bath after pooping down. to. his. feet.  Maybe he learned his lesson? Baaaahhahahahahahaha

At least he's cute. I'll still keep him <3

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

    I've played the piano since I was 11 years old. I even have taught piano for the last 7 years. My parents bought me a very nice electric piano for my twelfth birthday. I've had it for more than half of my life. It's a very nice piano with weighted keys and everything.
    Logan and Russell started piano lessons a few weeks ago, and I've always let my boys nicely play around with it.
    Swinging around mops and hitting (accidentally or not) my piano is not the proper way to use a piano. doing that could break the keys right off. And it being electric rather that acoustic means that when a key breaks, wood is not underneath. Mechanical things are underneath. I now have a hole in my piano where a C used to be.
    I love my boys, I love my boys...

Declan No Arms

(This was last summer)

He's funny and he knows it. He walked around for a good while with his arms pulled into his shirt like this. Also, minus a shoe. Ha. and no pants, as per usual.

Snow Day!

    Let me tell you about this morning.

    Before I shower each morning I feed the baby in the den while the boys watch a movie. He finished and I was enjoying just cuddling when suspicious noises started coming from his diaper. That was fine. It happens... But the smell was strong, which usually means one thing. Yep, up the back. Lovely.
   I changed the baby and took my shower while leaving them all to be entertained by James P. Sullivan and Mike Wazowski. I was informed after my much needed shower that the dog had eaten the $11 leather pacifier clip that finally came in the mail after two weeks from Etsy.
   My boys' new favorite breakfast is French Toast. They want it every day. Most days I don't mind making it. Today, however, I didn't have bread. Not enough for four boys, anyways. So here's the dilemma: only two like oatmeal, and only two like eggs. I've always said I wasn't going to make my kids special meals but I was feeling generous at the moment. So, I made two breakfasts.
   Well, I was trying to pay attention to two breakfasts on the stove when someone pulled out a bag of crushed pecans or cashews or something from the pantry and spilled them all over the floor. Of course. The twins were sitting there eating them, but a good mother wouldn't let her kids eat mysterious nuts off the floor, so I swept it up into the dustpan.
  The garbage was over flowing, so it had to be taken out before dumping them into it, or the mess would get worse. Normally, this is Logan's job but he just sets it right outside the door, and the dog's been tearing it apart lately, so today it was mine. While I was taking it out I instructed Logan to turn off the movie and get into the kitchen. It was the one time he couldn't find the remote, so this simple task took about 7 minutes. Russell's job is putting in a new garbage bag. Today he couldn't find the open end, so that took forever, as well. All the while I'm waiting to throw out egg shells and a dustpan full of nuts.
    We finally got that all taken care of, and now the boys are bugging me about their breakfasts. One doesn't want the "yellow eggs" (yolk). The other wants ketchup. Then I realize I forgot to add sugar to the oatmeal and salt to the eggs.
   I actually got everyone's breakfast finished, plated, and in front of them. Phew. I started on my own breakfast. I make myself a Shakeology shake every day. It's easy, super nutritious, and requires no extra thinking. I went to put the ice in and of course the ice maker didn't make a ton of ice. I reached in, and grabbed the strip of ice from the top and three pieces fell to the ground, shattered into tiny pieces, and scattered to various and sundry places throughout my house to be found later by my feet because there's nothing better than wet, cold socks.
    Common sense would say to make half of what I would normally make of each. So, that's what I did. Well everyone finished their breakfast and begged for more. "Well, there IS NO MORRRREEEE!!!" I said as lovingly and sweetly as possible, given the current situation.
So today we cancelled school. If we lived in the south, our 1 inch of snow would make it a snow day, so we're taking it. Oh, and we're having a Pixar marathon. For mommy's sanity, and the safety of the children.

Kitty Litter

    We had a cat. I'm more of a cat person than a dog lover. When we first got her we placed her covered litter box in the bathroom.
    One day I was looking for my big boys when I heard a strange noise coming from the bathroom: plop, giggle... plop, giggle. That is never a reassuring sound. Never.
    They were throwing the litter into the toilet, with their hands. Nice.
    I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. I couldn't flush it. Especially not with our temperamental toilet. I most definitely wasn't digging it out with my own hands. Oh yeah, sure. And there was no way I was going to just use a cup to scoop it out.
   Determined that I was going to just not go to the bathroom the rest of the day (also forgetting we had a second, but scary bathroom in the basement) I went to go finish dressing the twins. To add to the bad day, someone had brought dried leaves in the house and crushed them into the carpet I was sitting on. Good thing I just vacuumed the day before, ya know?
   Then it occurred to me, I have a shop vac!! So I got out my amazing Rainbow vac, and sucked up all the water. Then I sucked up all the litter. At that point I figured I might as well give the bowl a nice cleaning.
  The next time Logan used the toilet he mentioned how clean it looked. Yeah, thanks for that, kid.

  Oh, and I moved the litter box down to the basement after that.

We Need a New Potty

    For some time now our toilet has been acting stupid. It overflows nearly every time you don't watch it flush, or any time my son uses it, apparently.
   One particular morning I was getting all the boys dressed in their room while he was, ahem, doing his business. He finished and came running back to us when I reminded him that he needed to flush.      So he did, and at least ten minutes later I noticed the toilet was still running, which is also common. I opened the door to check, and before I flipped on the light, I stepped into almost a quarter inch of overflowed, nasty, poo-water! The entire bathroom had flooded. And we have a pretty big bathroom.
  Good thing I have my awesome Rainbow vacuum cleaner, which doubles as a shop vac. I'd still be mopping.

Grin and Bear It

    So this morning, Sunday, January 1st, 2017, Andrew was in the kitchen trying to ignore the chaos that goes on Sunday mornings before church. I don't blame him, and sometimes you have to just let it all happen for the sake of your own sanity. I was trying to mostly ignore it, myself. What's different about this morning was that our Sunday morning church service started an hour later than normal, giving us a little more leisure time than we're used to.
    After the boys finished their breakfast I stripped them out of their jammies, and took their diapers off for literally just a minute. I was about to go search for the new package of diapers when I see a few turds on the floor. Yes, there was poop on my kitchen floor again. So there I stood, over the poop, like a crossing guard, stopping traffic from all directions. My husband, trying to drink a rare cup of coffee, stood there in disbelief, with mouth agape. I graciously accepted his offer to clean it up while I cleaned up the pooper.
   So after that was all taken care of, I decided to use my extra time to dig through the mountain of clean laundry for the boys' church socks. I mean, we have about 16 pairs, but only one and a half put away. So  I knew they were in there, probably at the bottom.
   As I was working on that, in walks Callen, un-diapered. Sigh. He's been doing that himself lately. I noticed something different this time. There was poop in his butt as he walked away from me. Really?? So I alerted my husband. (I was cross-legged on the floor, in the midst of Mt. St. Laundry, so I couldn't just jump up and run after him.) He located the diaper on the floor in the dining room.  Poopy. So he picked it up but, of course, it rolled out, onto the floor. Why not, right?  My husband really kept his cool through this. I'm really surprised.
   When you have days like this, sometimes you just have to laugh about it. Oh, and this was all before Sunday morning service. Life is interesting, that's for sure!

Nap Problem

      I don't take a lot of naps. Sometimes, when you're up several times with the children, you just need one to survive, and for sanity's sake. The last time I took one, the dog chewed up a brand new book--one of my brand new Usborne books that I just started selling. So I took precautions today.

(You've had to have seen Captain America to understand the hydra reference: Cut of one head, two come back in its place.)

     *Disclaimer* Just so you know, when I took my nap, the children were in no danger. I put a movie on, and the baby gate up, and I stayed in the same room. It's generally danger-proof, but not messy-proof.

My Mother's Day Lily

     As a mom of so many boys, I don't always get nice things, but on Mother's Day last year my husband spontaneously brought me a potted lily. Oh, it was so pretty, smelled so nice, and made me feel spoiled. I placed it proudly on my kitchen counter because it was nice to have something girly and just for me.
 
   Yeah well... Fast forward 24 hours.

   I had a prenatal appointment and some errands to run. All four boys were in their bed for nap time, and I had a very talented, trusted babysitter. I promised to bring us back some ice cream because I was pregnant and we deserved it.
   I was enjoying my rare time out of the house alone when I got a text stating that the boys had taken my flower to bed and made a mess. Well why not, right?
   I rushed my fun afternoon, grabbed frosties from Wendy's in the largest sizes possible, (because I knew I'd regret not getting them) and got home as fast as legally possible.
   Every petal was ripped off. Dirt was all over. And by all over, I mean spread across the top bunk, bottom bunk, and the surrounding floor. All over.
   I had the boys vacuum the dirt, pick up my petals, and a few days later I had them buy me a new flower.
   I cleaned up after them of course, and I still, to this day, eight months later am finding dirt in hidden crevices in the room.

   Oh the joys of parenting boys!

Toys in the Pond

   At our house we have a large attached deck adjacent to a fish pond. It's real pretty in spring and summer. That is, unless you have kids.
   I specifically recall one fun day last summer when the two older boys were playing out on the deck. I was busy doing something in the kitchen, but had the outside door open so I could hear anything major going on out there. Or so I thought.
  We've got a bunch of outdoor toys out there, but when I looked out the window, I saw a tricycle on its way over the railing, and almost into the pond. I was in shock. Everything was in the pond. Everything. We had a water table with water toys, sand buckets, shovels, a play grill, push toys, toy dump trucks, oh, and my personal favorite, a potty chair. It was all in the pond. All of it. I mean, what else can you say about that. As a parent it just kinda makes you speechless.

I love my boys. I love my boys.  So here's a picture of my son scaling the house:

He's Seen This Before

When you walk in to find your two year old being more adult than you.

Bumper Cars in my House

Sometimes when you just need to be left alone for a few minutes, you allow all four push-cars into the house for a nice game of bumper cars. You've gotta do what you've gotta do.

I picked up one of these cars free on the side of the road. Cool, right? Not when you have three more boys wanting impatiently to ride in it. I made it my personal goal last summer to buy at least 3 more. One for each. I wasn't going to pay more than $10 each.

I found my next one on a local facebook buy/sell page for $10.

Then, my sister and I went to a huge community sale and look at one of our hauls:

At first she was embarrassed walking around with an empty double stroller, but this might've been worse. $5 for this one.

My husband and I went to another community sale and found a truck one. I scored that one for $2. We also found a fifth one there and paid only $3 for it! Jackpot! Now everyone can be happy. If only. They still fight over the same one. They all look the same, so I don't know why, but of course what fun would it be if I made everybody happy as planned?

It is fun, however, when they just play in their little cars and drive around.

 

Because That's What it Does

A forklift toy + a willow tree figurine + a boy =

This picture was taken at my parents' house. They had three girls. It always amuses them what the boys leave behind at their house. I will admit, the things they come up with make me smile, too.

My Favorite Play Pen

    So, the Christmas after having twins my mother-in-law got me this really awesome playpen. It's very roomy, light, and portable. I love it! I love it so much that I have two, in different ends of the house. They came in really handy when I had to shower or leave them in one room while I took care of something in another. They were a sanity-saver.

(This is how awesome this thing is before you put children in it!)

  Just to clarify, in no way do I blame my husband for what happened... 

  One evening while I was on my way out the door, my husband was jumping in the shower real quick. We did what we normally do in a similar circumstance: Put the twins in the playpen, big boys on the couch, and a reeeeeal good movie on. (I was still pregnant with Jack at this point.)

   I came home and saw this:



    My husband had said that when he got out of the shower he found all found all four boys sitting on the couch. It took him a minute, then he said, "Waaaaait a minute!"
    Logan had decided to cut them out. How nice of him, right? I mean, he just wanted his brothers to come out and sit with him. Yeah, well. He learned we don't do that. Andrew turned the big, gaping hole toward the wall, hoping they wouldn't think to get out.  It took about a day for them to realize they could escape. It was kinda funny though when one would get a leg, head, or some other body part stuck (not dangerously, of course) and they'd get mad.
    Eventually, I bought some more mesh and my mom sewed the biggest hole closed for me. That was just about the time they discovered they could climb out. Can you believe I'd never had my babies climb out of a playpen or crib before this?
   Anyways, that's the story of my favorite playpen. May you rest in peace.

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You know what's really cool? I make money if you buy through this link!

Crazy, Crazy Morning

   Oh, where do I begin?

   After breakfast, the boys usually get dressed right away. They get distracted, as little boys do, and this process is generally long and drawn out. Lots of distractions occur at this time. On this particular day, Russell was sitting on the potty, and Callen said he wanted to potty, too. He's pretty familiar with the potty, so I took his diaper off, sat him on the potty chair, and went to change the baby. He started running around, which is okay. I figured he knows enough to go to the potty if he had to go. Then he came running from the bathroom yelling excitedly, "I poop! I poop!" Logan came out of the bathroom, "Oh my! *exaggerated gag*  It stinks in there!" I questioned, "Russell, did he poop?" He answered, "Yes."
    So I walk in there and there is poop on the potty chair, in front of the potty chair, and across the floor. Like, he must've not pooped in days, saving it all up. He was so proud to show me what he had done. The poor boy, who had stepped in it, and made lovely footprints across the room was cheering and happy that he had gone on the potty. He tried, he really did. So while I was in there cleaning up poop, we were cheering.

   Not fifteen minutes later, I'm back trying to get everyone dressed, and I hear the dog's nails clawing as fast as they can again go across the hard floors, as the big boys were giggling hysterically, chasing her with a laundry basket across the house, trying to catch her in it. (She's too big.)

   So I continued on, and all I had left is Callen. I called for him and he didn't come. Logan informed me that he was playing with the salt. Ugghhh. There he was, sitting on the table, in the midst of a pile, a pile, of salt. Why not, right?

   I got everyone dressed and we went out to the den so the boys could play while I nursed the baby and typed all this up. The boys are in charge of letting the dog out. (That was the deal) So they let her out, and three sentences into writing, I was informed that Callen was holding on to her hook, and she wasn't hooked up. She's still relatively new, and really just a puppy, so she needs to be hooked up. I ran across to the door, still nursing, swing open the door in the midst of a blizzard, (I might be over exaggerating on that, but it's only 11 degrees out, snowing and blowing, so really not ideal for nursing a baby outside.) I called for her, but she's not really the best listener yet, and we did give her a new name. I bribed her with treats, all the while with a baby on the boob, in a blizzard.
Eventually she did come in.

  That's my morning. So far: The baby fell asleep for his nap, I've got to wipe a few boogers, add last minute touches to two hats to send out this morning, and start school. It's only 9:30.

Suspicious Behavior

   This morning Logan went to get dressed, but he's only 5, so he usually keeps the door open. I heard the door close, and kept reminding him to open it. Finally he did. I saw the dog walk out. I figured he was just trying to keep her hostage while he was in there, which is common. A few minutes later, while I was dressing the twins in their room, I saw him carry something wrapped up when he came into sit on the bed next to me and chat. It is not unusual for him to wrap up a treasure and carry it around like a most prized possession. Very similar to what he was doing now. The only difference was a suspicious look on his face. Well, I had three other boys running around half naked, and one in my lap, drooling all over me.
   Shortly after, they were all dressed, and we all migrated to the den. (It's Christmas break.) The first thing he did was put his secret possession in a roll-top desk drawer. Honestly, as suspicious as it was, it's not abnormal behavior for him. I just figured it was a stuffed animal, or a business card, or something else minuscule as that.
   No.
   Never underestimate suspicious behavior. They are not innocent until proven guilty. Never.
   I sat down with the baby, who was getting ready to nurse, and the other boys started contemplating what they were going to attempt to destroy.
   Then Russell went over by the desk and pulled out a fish.
   Yes, a fish.
   He told me that Logan put a fish in the desk.
   A REAL FISH!
   I honestly didn't know if I believed him until he brought it over to me in his hand. Never doubt your kids. Usually the stranger the information, the more true it is.
   I told him to go put it in the toilet and wash his hands. (It was dying in the fish tank yesterday, so I'm pretty sure it was dead today.) Then I told Logan to go wash his hands. (Rule #11 with boys is you don't send them into the bathroom together.)
I didn't even yell, get mad, or wig out. I just never fathomed that. I (don't know why) was just in almost complete shock.
   Yep. Life with boys. You know, before 9 AM.

How to Fall Asleep: According to a two-year-old

Just a bit of a background: I've had to separate the twins at naptime. At this time, Callen slept in baby Jack's crib for naps only. Yes, he can climb out without injuring himself. Oh, and he rarely wears pants.

1. Demonstrate your position on the issue verbally/with screaming if necessary.

2. Sit and cover yourself with a blanket, still whimpering.

3. Get a second wind and restart the tantrum. Attempt to climb out if needed for emphasis.

4. Contemplate giving in with blanket over head again.

5. Rest your head for a second because maybe you are tired.

6. Be careful, laying down feels nice.

7. Woah, that was close. Try making noise again.

8. Lay down and rest a bit. You've earned it. A leg up on the side rail shows you're "just pretending" to give in.

Just Curious

  How often do your children swallow things they shouldn't? Like say, money. No reason really.
Of course-that's not true. One certain son has swallowed money on two separate occasions. Yes, two. Oh, and he's my second oldest. He should know better, right? Well he's one that just can't help himself. He's got to put everything in his mouth.

    The first time he had found a dime I asked if he wanted to put it in his piggy bank. He didn't. Then, very shortly after, he was laying on his back, with a choke-like cough. Naturally, I panicked. He kept saying it was in his throat, pointing to his neck. Not to his mouth or belly. I called my RN Mother-in-law, and she told me at his age if he was still talking about it, pointing to his neck, it was stuck, and we should go to the ER. Of course, this was the day I decided to put the twins in cloth diapers, rather than easy disposables. He was still breathing and talking, so it wasn't an emergency. I changed the twins, packed the double stroller, made and packed a lunch with snacks, and got everyone's coats on. As we were walking out the door he started guzzling down water. I was putting the boys into the truck when he happily said, "I swallowed it!"
   We went back inside, and I called my MIL again. She said it sounds like I didn't need to worry about it, but to check to make sure it passed. So, the story wasn't ending yet. The next day when he had to poop, I had him go in the toddler training potty so I could check it. (yay me) I started poking around (gloves on!) and for some reason, I was assuming it would come out a certain way. I didn't feel it so I dumped it in the toilet after throwing up. (I was quite in the throes of morning sickness at the time.) *Clink* Oh great! So I tried digging it out. I almost had it, and it slipped back in! It was then that I realized it was only 10 cents and definitely not worth it, and WHY on earth was I trying to get it out!?

Yeah.... He's not allowed to carry money around any more.