Because That's What it Does

A forklift toy + a willow tree figurine + a boy =

This picture was taken at my parents' house. They had three girls. It always amuses them what the boys leave behind at their house. I will admit, the things they come up with make me smile, too.

My Favorite Play Pen

    So, the Christmas after having twins my mother-in-law got me this really awesome playpen. It's very roomy, light, and portable. I love it! I love it so much that I have two, in different ends of the house. They came in really handy when I had to shower or leave them in one room while I took care of something in another. They were a sanity-saver.

(This is how awesome this thing is before you put children in it!)

  Just to clarify, in no way do I blame my husband for what happened... 

  One evening while I was on my way out the door, my husband was jumping in the shower real quick. We did what we normally do in a similar circumstance: Put the twins in the playpen, big boys on the couch, and a reeeeeal good movie on. (I was still pregnant with Jack at this point.)

   I came home and saw this:



    My husband had said that when he got out of the shower he found all found all four boys sitting on the couch. It took him a minute, then he said, "Waaaaait a minute!"
    Logan had decided to cut them out. How nice of him, right? I mean, he just wanted his brothers to come out and sit with him. Yeah, well. He learned we don't do that. Andrew turned the big, gaping hole toward the wall, hoping they wouldn't think to get out.  It took about a day for them to realize they could escape. It was kinda funny though when one would get a leg, head, or some other body part stuck (not dangerously, of course) and they'd get mad.
    Eventually, I bought some more mesh and my mom sewed the biggest hole closed for me. That was just about the time they discovered they could climb out. Can you believe I'd never had my babies climb out of a playpen or crib before this?
   Anyways, that's the story of my favorite playpen. May you rest in peace.

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Crazy, Crazy Morning

   Oh, where do I begin?

   After breakfast, the boys usually get dressed right away. They get distracted, as little boys do, and this process is generally long and drawn out. Lots of distractions occur at this time. On this particular day, Russell was sitting on the potty, and Callen said he wanted to potty, too. He's pretty familiar with the potty, so I took his diaper off, sat him on the potty chair, and went to change the baby. He started running around, which is okay. I figured he knows enough to go to the potty if he had to go. Then he came running from the bathroom yelling excitedly, "I poop! I poop!" Logan came out of the bathroom, "Oh my! *exaggerated gag*  It stinks in there!" I questioned, "Russell, did he poop?" He answered, "Yes."
    So I walk in there and there is poop on the potty chair, in front of the potty chair, and across the floor. Like, he must've not pooped in days, saving it all up. He was so proud to show me what he had done. The poor boy, who had stepped in it, and made lovely footprints across the room was cheering and happy that he had gone on the potty. He tried, he really did. So while I was in there cleaning up poop, we were cheering.

   Not fifteen minutes later, I'm back trying to get everyone dressed, and I hear the dog's nails clawing as fast as they can again go across the hard floors, as the big boys were giggling hysterically, chasing her with a laundry basket across the house, trying to catch her in it. (She's too big.)

   So I continued on, and all I had left is Callen. I called for him and he didn't come. Logan informed me that he was playing with the salt. Ugghhh. There he was, sitting on the table, in the midst of a pile, a pile, of salt. Why not, right?

   I got everyone dressed and we went out to the den so the boys could play while I nursed the baby and typed all this up. The boys are in charge of letting the dog out. (That was the deal) So they let her out, and three sentences into writing, I was informed that Callen was holding on to her hook, and she wasn't hooked up. She's still relatively new, and really just a puppy, so she needs to be hooked up. I ran across to the door, still nursing, swing open the door in the midst of a blizzard, (I might be over exaggerating on that, but it's only 11 degrees out, snowing and blowing, so really not ideal for nursing a baby outside.) I called for her, but she's not really the best listener yet, and we did give her a new name. I bribed her with treats, all the while with a baby on the boob, in a blizzard.
Eventually she did come in.

  That's my morning. So far: The baby fell asleep for his nap, I've got to wipe a few boogers, add last minute touches to two hats to send out this morning, and start school. It's only 9:30.

Suspicious Behavior

   This morning Logan went to get dressed, but he's only 5, so he usually keeps the door open. I heard the door close, and kept reminding him to open it. Finally he did. I saw the dog walk out. I figured he was just trying to keep her hostage while he was in there, which is common. A few minutes later, while I was dressing the twins in their room, I saw him carry something wrapped up when he came into sit on the bed next to me and chat. It is not unusual for him to wrap up a treasure and carry it around like a most prized possession. Very similar to what he was doing now. The only difference was a suspicious look on his face. Well, I had three other boys running around half naked, and one in my lap, drooling all over me.
   Shortly after, they were all dressed, and we all migrated to the den. (It's Christmas break.) The first thing he did was put his secret possession in a roll-top desk drawer. Honestly, as suspicious as it was, it's not abnormal behavior for him. I just figured it was a stuffed animal, or a business card, or something else minuscule as that.
   No.
   Never underestimate suspicious behavior. They are not innocent until proven guilty. Never.
   I sat down with the baby, who was getting ready to nurse, and the other boys started contemplating what they were going to attempt to destroy.
   Then Russell went over by the desk and pulled out a fish.
   Yes, a fish.
   He told me that Logan put a fish in the desk.
   A REAL FISH!
   I honestly didn't know if I believed him until he brought it over to me in his hand. Never doubt your kids. Usually the stranger the information, the more true it is.
   I told him to go put it in the toilet and wash his hands. (It was dying in the fish tank yesterday, so I'm pretty sure it was dead today.) Then I told Logan to go wash his hands. (Rule #11 with boys is you don't send them into the bathroom together.)
I didn't even yell, get mad, or wig out. I just never fathomed that. I (don't know why) was just in almost complete shock.
   Yep. Life with boys. You know, before 9 AM.

How to Fall Asleep: According to a two-year-old

Just a bit of a background: I've had to separate the twins at naptime. At this time, Callen slept in baby Jack's crib for naps only. Yes, he can climb out without injuring himself. Oh, and he rarely wears pants.

1. Demonstrate your position on the issue verbally/with screaming if necessary.

2. Sit and cover yourself with a blanket, still whimpering.

3. Get a second wind and restart the tantrum. Attempt to climb out if needed for emphasis.

4. Contemplate giving in with blanket over head again.

5. Rest your head for a second because maybe you are tired.

6. Be careful, laying down feels nice.

7. Woah, that was close. Try making noise again.

8. Lay down and rest a bit. You've earned it. A leg up on the side rail shows you're "just pretending" to give in.

Just Curious

  How often do your children swallow things they shouldn't? Like say, money. No reason really.
Of course-that's not true. One certain son has swallowed money on two separate occasions. Yes, two. Oh, and he's my second oldest. He should know better, right? Well he's one that just can't help himself. He's got to put everything in his mouth.

    The first time he had found a dime I asked if he wanted to put it in his piggy bank. He didn't. Then, very shortly after, he was laying on his back, with a choke-like cough. Naturally, I panicked. He kept saying it was in his throat, pointing to his neck. Not to his mouth or belly. I called my RN Mother-in-law, and she told me at his age if he was still talking about it, pointing to his neck, it was stuck, and we should go to the ER. Of course, this was the day I decided to put the twins in cloth diapers, rather than easy disposables. He was still breathing and talking, so it wasn't an emergency. I changed the twins, packed the double stroller, made and packed a lunch with snacks, and got everyone's coats on. As we were walking out the door he started guzzling down water. I was putting the boys into the truck when he happily said, "I swallowed it!"
   We went back inside, and I called my MIL again. She said it sounds like I didn't need to worry about it, but to check to make sure it passed. So, the story wasn't ending yet. The next day when he had to poop, I had him go in the toddler training potty so I could check it. (yay me) I started poking around (gloves on!) and for some reason, I was assuming it would come out a certain way. I didn't feel it so I dumped it in the toilet after throwing up. (I was quite in the throes of morning sickness at the time.) *Clink* Oh great! So I tried digging it out. I almost had it, and it slipped back in! It was then that I realized it was only 10 cents and definitely not worth it, and WHY on earth was I trying to get it out!?

Yeah.... He's not allowed to carry money around any more.